Bella Volturi: A different me
by Midi-Rella-Jacie
Summary: Edward does something inexcusable for a few years, finally Bella gets fed up and leaves, hiding her emotions, changing. After Nessie is grown Bella disappears, leaving all she knows behind. Follow her on her journey through her dead life.
1. Chapter 1: Cheating bastard

I do not own Twilight. Review please. And please give my story Moon Light a chance, there's a link to it on my profile.

I just wanted to disappear. How could he do this to me?

The sobs tore through me, my body shaking violently. And yet no tears fell. No tears could fall. Not anymore.

He said he loved me. That I was his world.

But now that I was dead like him, he couldn't stand me.

He played the role of a loving husband. Standing by my side. Hugging and kissing me, then he would leave me to go be with here during the night.

She was alive, the blood pumping through her veins. Her beating heart. While mine was still. The life gone for a man who didn't want me. Who couldn't stand still.

For two years it's been like this. One girl after another. Always changing, never staying.

He vowed to love me for all eternity. To be faithful and honest.

Now look where we are.

My only condolence. My only reason left today. My daughter. _Our _daughter. Renesmee.

I still loved him, would always love him. But if he couldn't remain true. I had no reason to stay.

I would leave now. During the night while he was with her.

I grabbed two bags, calm and composed. Resigned to the fact there was nothing else to do.

I packed my bag hastily, throwing in my keepsakes and personal belongings. Not much, just a few Shakespeare books, and some other things. I grabbed some clothes, stuffing them in, zipping it up, and then went to Renesmee's room.

She lay sleeping in her bd. Peaceful. She had no idea what was really going on. Thinking her world perfect. Not realizing it was all falling down around us.

I grabbed some of her clothes and her favorite things, jamming them in the bag and zipped this one up. I threw them over my shoulder and picked Renesmee up, being careful not to wake her.

I put her in the back seat of my red Ferrari, and got in. Putting the bags in the seat next to me. I sighed, starting the car. I looked at our cottage with sad, soulful eyes, and then drove away without looking back.

We didn't go far. Just to La Push to stay with Jacob. I wouldn't go to Charlie. It'd be too stressful. I couldn't go too far away because I didn't want to disappear, taking Renesmee from her family, friends, and Jacob. She would miss them too much. _I_ would miss them too much. I had to cut the ties gradually. But I had to leave Edward and go somewhere he'd be reluctant to follow me, or couldn't find me. Since, I couldn't just disappear for several reasons.

Jacob's was the best place to go. Even if he _did_ stink. My nose scrunched just at the _thought _of smelling him. But he was my best friend still. One day my son-in-law.

I pulled into the Black's driveway, and turned the car off, Renesmee still asleep in the back. I got out just as Jacob burst through the dark bushes in the twilight, his scent fouling the air.

"Bella!" Jacob picked up a sleepy Renesmee, cradling her in his arms. "Why are you guys here?" He asked quietly, now realizing that Renesmee was still trying to sleep. He looked surprised to see us. "I mean, it's not like I'm not happy to see you. Obviously, but-" He shrugged, looking sheepish.

I laughed. "It's okay, Jacob. I understand." I frowned, a wave of depression hitting me. No longer would Edward be a part of my life. He was my world, and now that he was gone…I didn't know what to do.

Renesmee would be grown in three and a half years, and she would go to Jacob. And then I wouldn't have her either. I would have nothing. I could always go to the Volturi, have them kill me.

Shaking my head, I forced myself to forget my bad thought, smiling at a worried Jacob.

"Can we stay with you and Billy for a while?"

I watched the emotions cross his face in rapid succession with amusement: shock, surprise, uncertainty, joy, confusion, joy. I knew what his answer was.

"Yeah," He was grinning. Renesmee had fallen back to sleep in his arms. "Come on." I grabbed the bags from the car and followed him inside.

The sun was just peeking over the horizon when my phone began to ring, the melody of my lullaby echoing through the silent house. I hit ignore, shutting the phone off when I saw the name on the screen.

Edward.

And threw it across the room, smashing into pieces when it hit the wall.

I cringed, listening for any signs of movement from the others.

Nothing. I sighed in relief.

Billy, Nessie, and Jacob were all asleep. Their breathing, and Jacob's soring, the only sound in the house.

It was comforting hearing their heart's beating, life in its simplest form. Something I gave up for _him_.

However, if I hadn't of given it up, I wouldn't be here for Renesmee. I wouldn't have my daughter. And she was all I had left now.

I couldn't keep the rest of my family either. Not when I'd given him up. I wouldn't make them chose between us and he had been there longer.

It was only right.

I sighed, hearing the stirs of life as the other habitants of La Push began to start their morning. If not for Renesmee…

I heard Billy waking up across the house, and glanced at the clock. 7:30. Renesmee would be waking soon.

I stood straight and walked away from the window. Renesmee needed me, and for her, I would continue to live, until she no longer did. Without Edward. Without Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Esme, Carlisle. Without the rest of my family.

And then I would join the Volturi.


	2. Chapter 2: Kill the mesenger

"Bella!" Seth called, walking into Jacob's house. I heard him, but I didn't feel like responding. I knew why he was here, I knew who'd sent him. And I didn't want to have anything to do with Edward right now. I just wanted to have some time to think.

"Hey, Bella, where's Jake and Nessie?" I turned and glared at Seth, a member of Jake's pack.

"They're out hunting." I snarled, turning my back on Seth. Hoping he'd take the hint, but knowing he wouldn't.

"So…" He said, he sounded uneasy, the floor boards creaking under his feet as he shifted his weight to his heels.

I could smell his unease, the sweat stinking up the room. Even without that, his nervous little movements, shifting his weight from foot to foot, rubbing the back of his neck.

I didn't say anything, a small smirk on my face, letting him sweat it out. I was in a very cruel mood, and I found Seth's nerves funny. Although, Seth didn't deserve my messing with him, but because he was being Edward's messenger, to my way of thinking, he deserved what he got.

"What're you doing at Billy's?" I glanced at him over my shoulder, and, if his startled, panicked expression was anything to go by, I must look as angry and frightening as I hoped. "I mean, normally you guys don't cross the treaty line and now that you're here…" He trailed off nervously, unsure.

I laughed silently, and shrugged. I was staring back out the window, having turned back during his long-winded sentence without thinking about it. I was still getting used to all this vampire stuff, even after a few years.

"Go tell Edward," I started, taking a deep breath at the sharp stab to my dead heart. "that I'm leaving him. For good." I added on, for his benefit. You know, just to make it clear. "I'll remain here until Renesmee is grown, and then I'm leaving. Me, or Jake, will take Renesmee to the treaty line every day at noon. If he wants to see her, he can come meet us. I'll only wait thirty minutes for him. I'll tell him the rest today at noon if he's there." I explained to Seth, monotone.

I heard his frantic getaway, chuckling. His heartbeat was rapid, more so than normal, his feet unstable, klutzy, like how I used to be. Then the smile fell.

Just the thought of him hurt, saying his name a loud was torture. Before Seth came, before I voiced my true attentions, my anger was the buffer to my pain. Now, it was gone.

I was really doing this.

And it killed.


	3. Chapter 3: You're killing me here

I do not own Twilight, blah, blah, blah.

"Bella." Edward breathed, standing on the other side of the treaty line of me, Jake and Renesmee. His face was tortured. His eyes black.

I felt no sympathy.

I let Renesmee down and she ran to her father, he wouldn't step over the treaty line. It was far to ingrained in him to do so, just what I was hoping for.

"Either me or Jake will be here at eight to pick her up. Make sure she's here Edward." I told my soon to be ex-husband coldly.

"Bella, please." Edward's voice was ragged, tormented. A small smirk appeared on my face.

Good, he deserved it

"Daddy." Renesmee said in her beautiful, tinkling voice. Her head reached his hips now, looking like an eight year old.

However, she still didn't like being ignored. Her brown eyes like mine blazing with her anger.

I heard Jake chuckling behind me, here for moral support and Renesmee. I had explained what was going on to them the way here, keeping nothing from them. I knew Renesmee could handle it.

"You had better answer her." I said, monotone, looking at Edward with dead, lifeless eyes, but he continued to ignore our daughter, watching me.

I knew it hurt. I could see it in his ravaged face, his ever-darkening eyes. My detachment killed him.

"Bella," He whispered. I swore if vampires could cry, he would be right now. "Don't leave me, please." His tortured plea tugged at my heart, and for one second, I considered giving in. I felt myself softening.

Then I realized what I was doing. And I saw the hope in his eyes, hidden by the pain.

"First, _Edward_," I sneered his name. I couldn't hide my anger anymore. That was the last straw. "Quit ignoring_ our _daughter. Second, don't beg and act hurt like you care. I know where you've been going every night. I know about all of the other women."

I took divine pleasure in the look on his face. The tortured, shamed, regretful, guilty face that just screamed, "oh no, I've been caught."

I'm leaving and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it." For a second, Edward looked like he could die right there. Like his whole world was ending. I snored at the thought.

Yeah right.

"Bella-" Edward began, pleading a hand stretched out toward me.

"Renesmee," I cut him off, looking at our silent daughter. He was still ignoring her. "Be good for daddy and everyone else okay? I'll see you in a little bit. I love you." I smiled reassuringly. She nodded, smiling slightly back. I'm sure she was confused and slightly hurt because of what I said to her father.

But there was nothing to be said. I would have to explain it to her later.

"I love you too, mommy." I heard her whisper as I turned and ran with Jake behind me.

"Bella!" I heard Edward yell, I ran faster. My heart ripping to sheds.

"Bella," He whispered, his voice carrying on the wind. "Please don't go. I love you."


	4. Chapter 4: Time for a Change

**I do not own Twilight. Please review for my stories Moon Light, Long Gone, Paperthin Hymn, and Moonlight and Magnolia. Also, I need ya'lls opinion on something. Do you want me to go into detail for the next two and a half years, just skip several months and do a vague description or just skip them all together and go to when Renesmee marries Jake and then Bella leaves and you figure out what happened over the past two and a half years from flashbacks, conversations, etc. please let me know.**

I closed my eyes, knowing that if I could, I would be crying. My heart was burning, ripping and tearing, the pain form his words, from wanting to say them back filling me.

I pushed them back behind the wall I'd built, knowing what would happen if I let them out. It'd start all over again and be back where I'd started, getting walked on.

No, I wouldn't let that happen. Not again. It hurt way too much. I had to change, hide my emotions. Become someone else, something else.

A weapon. I laughed silently at the thought. A lethal weapon, no soft spots, no emotion.

"Bella!" Jacob yelled, paniced.

I snarled glared at him over my shoulder. He was frightened, struggling to keep up with me. At my snarl, he fell back, heading towards La Push.

I continued running through the trees, destination unknown. And I didn't care.

I just wanted to get away and think.

Another benefit of being a vampire is that you're brain has a lot more room and your reactions are far better than a humans. So I don't have to think about running, worrying about running into a tree.

I could focus completely on my thoughts.

Getting off the subject of Edward calmed my anger I realized, slowing down.

However, my mind was made up. I was staying away from him, no matter how much I loved him. And I would change. Completely. I couldn't let him hurt me. Not again. He'd destroy me. If he hasn't already.


	5. Chapter 5: Excuse, Excuse, Excuse

**I do not own Twilight. Please review for my stories Moon Light, Long Gone, Paperthin Hymn, and Moonlight and Magnolia. Also, I need ya'lls opinion on something. Do you want me to go into detail for the next two and a half years, just skip several months and do a vague description or just skip them all together and go to when Renesmee marries Jake and then Bella leaves and you figure out what happened over the past two and a half years from flashbacks, conversations, etc. please let me know.**

"Mommy." I heard Nessie call, running through the house ahead of Jake.

She ran into the living room and jumped into my waiting arms. She put her hand to my cheek, showing me everything from when we met Edward, her hurt and confusion, to when she jumped into my arms, letting me feel all of her emotions, mainly confusion. I knew she wanted answers.

"I know, baby." I murmured, rubbing her back. "I know." I felt a small tug on my heart at what she showed me, Edward, my family, but I refused to let it take over. Shoving Nessie's memories to the back of my mind, locking them away.

The new me couldn't be affected by this. I had to look at it emotionlessly, factually, and answer Nessie's questions to the best of my ability.

"Daddy was hurting me. And I couldn't take it anymore." I noticed Jake standing just outside the door, listening. "I wanted to make him hurt like how he made me hurt. I wanted him to be in pain, to feel what I felt. Besides, I also knew what he'd say, what he'd try to do." I paused, taking a deep breath to control my anger. "He'd try to convince to come back, that it was all my self-doubt, my _imagination_, that he'd been faithful to me. I couldn't let him, Nessie." I whispered the last part, looking into my daughter's sad, tear-filled eyes. "I couldn't go back to that, living like that. I couldn't last much longer. He was killing me." I muttered, depression swamping me, pulling Nessie closer and burying my face in her hair.

I inhaled. Nessie's sweet, burning scent calming me considerably. "I'm sorry. I'm doing this to you, Renesmee." I whispered, hugging he tighter. "I really am."

She patted the side of my neck, showing me that it was all okay and she understood.

"Thank you." I whispered, gently rocking Renesmee in my arms.

I noticed Jacob had come into the living room. Leaning against the doorway, smiling, watching us. I gave him a teasing annoyed, knowing look over the slowly falling asleep Renesmee's head.

He just grinned.

I'm thinking about starting two new stories, I want to know all of your guys opinion on it, if ya'll read it and review.

**October Sun: They adored her, their little October, but she didn't belong to them. And there was only one way to get her. So they went against all they believed in, to defy all the odds and get her. To make her their own. But the only question is, will they make it through?**

**Blood-Spattered Money: Charlie was the center of Bella's world, her everything, and yet life wasn't what it seemed. So many changes in a small child's life, but the biggest one of all, is the one that may possibly destroy her.**


	6. Chapter 6: Interlude

I do not own Twilight. Please review. Sorry it's so short and kinda boring. But these parts must happen right? Don't worry the next chapter is way better.

Several months passed and I saw nor heard any signs of the Cullens. I refused to call myself by that name anymore. Although I hadn't made it to a lawyer to start the divorce proceedings. For that matter, I hadn't left the reservation at all.

Honestly, I was afraid of running into _them._ It had taken me a while to admit it, but I had finally owned up to it. And today, I was going to overcome that fear.

After Jake took Renesmee to Edward, I would go hunting out past the treaty line. If they dare to approach, I would either ignore them or attack, whichever they forced me to do, but they shouldn't, wouldn't dare if they got the message I had been sending since the start of this. I snorted at the thought, they probably ignored my message.

"Bella?" Jake asked, appearing in the door way of his garage.

I turned to look at him questioningly, dropping the wrench in my hand. I had started giving myself projects. My newest one being to build my own bike. I'd already taught myself five different religions and seven languages, not to mention trained myself to be a skilled hunter and assassin.

"I'm getting ready to take Nessie, will you be alright?" He looked worried, he always did anymore. He was really the best friend a girl could have.

"Yeah, I'm going to go hunting right after you leave." I smiled reassuringly, and immediately he relaxed, a look of relief taking over.

"Have you already told Nessie bye?" He grinned, already heading back to the house.

"Yeah, I'm just going to clean up and head out." I called after him, grinning.

I picked up the tools, smirking. They were going to be so surprised when I came back and told them where I hunted.

Soon, I would once again be free.


	7. Chapter 7: A new discovery

**I dont own Twilight. Sorry it took me so long to update. Ill try to get the rest as soon as possible.**

I ran as fast as I could, laughing as I fought the wind. This couldn't get any better.

Full on moutain lion, exhilarated and charged up. I just felt like I could fly, sometimes, it was almost like I could.

I wanted to run until I reached Alaska, down to the tip of South America, but Renesmee would be home soon.

And then I smelt it.

Fresh blood. A wolf's blood.

I raced toward it, adrenalin pumping.

It couldn't be one of the la push wolves. It just couldn't.

And to my relief, it wasn't. i discoverd an unconcious wolf cub nor far from my path, the poor thing not more than a week old.

I stared at the poor thing in horror, you couldn't even tell the colof of its fur it was so covered in blood. My heart went out to the poor thing, it would die if left alone out here.

I knew I shouldn't be so soft, but I couldn't let it die.I just couldn't. No matter how hard I tried to be a heartless killer.

I carefully picked up the cub up, cradling it in my arms. Then I raced back, my carefree rum tossed from my mind.

II ran facter than i ever had before. I could hear the poor dear's heart slowing with every second that passed.

Before long, I knew the cub wouldn't make it back to La Push. And I panicked.

I didn't want the poor thing to die,a nd if Carlisle could save others by changing them, whose to say it wouldn't work on animals too?

So that's what I did. I stopped beneath an old oak tree, and carefully bit the cub, and waited.

Soon, I was rewarded.

His heart began to beat faster, until it soon sounded like the fluttering of a hummingbird's wings, like Renesmee's heart.

I smiled in satisfaction. Not what I expected, but the cub was alive so I set off back on my course to La Push.

I absently measured the time from the fading sun and realized that it hadn't taken long at allf or the cub to change, and the thought caught my attnetion.

I glanced down at the cub curiously, how was that even possible?

No matter how I considered it, I could come up with no expalantion. I sighed, now would be a good time to be on speaking terms with Carlisle.

But no matter, I perked up as I crossed the treaty line onto La Push territory. I would have the rest of forever to try and understand.

But for now, I had a little cub to attend to.

Later that night, I watched the cub sleep in the bed of rags I made for him in Jake's plastic-shed garage. Renesmee wouldn't be back for another half hour, Jacob was already at the treaty line waiting. And I was too anxious to concentrate on my bike, that was almost done anyway, and I had no other projects as of yet except for this little buddy I thought fondly, but I needed to start another one before I finished my bike.

Maybe I'd write my memoirs.

I barked out a laugh at the thought. As if, but the thought took hold, fostering in the back of my mind like an open wound that I wanted to ignore, but couldn't.

I ignored it, instead focusing on the sounds of the forest at night that was being cataloged by a different part of my mind earlier while I was focusing on other things.

Wow, how odd, sounds like I'm narrating my life. I snickered at the thought, then grinned as I heard Renesmee and Jake racing through the forest toward me.

I didn't have long to wait.

Renesmee launched herself at me, Jake appearing in the doorway behind her with a big grin.

"What is that?" Jake jumped, pointing to the bed of rags while Renesmee peeked over my shoulder.

I looked over my shoulder at the black wolf cub that I had saved and cleaned up earlier. He had moved around so that now he was almost buried beneath the rags.

"_That _is a wolf cub I found and saved." I grinned at Jake, Nessie never taking her fascinated gaze off the cub.

"His heart's like mine." Renesemee whispered, looking up at me with wide chocolate brown eyes.

"Yeah, what's up with that?" Jake asked curiously, coming to stand besdie me while I turned around.

"I'm not sure." I shrugged, leaning agaist Jake. "I was huntingi n Canada and on my way back I found him, covered in blood. I thought he could make it 'till I got back here to get help to save him, but half way here I kenw he wasn't going to. So I panicked and figured, why not bit him?" And they both looked at me like I was crazy.

"What?" I looked offended, pouting. "It made sense. I mean, Carlisle changed the rest while they were dieing. Edward chaanged me when I was almsot dead." I no longer cringed when I or anyone else said his name, no longer felt the pain. "I did die, or stared to. Anyways," I shrugged a shoulder. "I figured that if changing people saved them, why not animals?" Jake was looking at me with his mouth hanging open.

It wasn't that bad. Or crazy.

"No one's ever said anything different. And that's the result." I laughed at the startled, disbelieving look on his face. Then turned and headed inside, leaving Jake behind.

"Mama, can he be my friend?" Renesmee asked softly, her voice slightly slurred in sleep. "He smells nice, like Jake." She yawned and rested her head on my shoulder.

"Of course baby." I whispered, and then she was asleep. Just as I reached her bed in the living room.

I gently laid her down, covering her up and went back out to the garage after gently kissing her good night.

As soon as I stepped into the garage, I knew by the dead serious look on Jacob's face that we were going to be having a _long_ talk.


End file.
